Peace, Be still!

Peace, be still! I realize that this is a two part instruction. Sadly, I can only do one at a time, and frankly I am a little overwhelmed that they come as a package deal. Sort of like when angels appear throughout scripture, and the first thing they must say is "Don't be afraid." I can't help but think that some days they might have just wanted to get on with it. Yes, God's love for humanity is large, beautiful, and probably really shiny. Pull yourself together. Undoubtedly, angels enjoy talking with one another, so that such a preliminary admonishment isn't necessary.

But back to peace and be still. Okay, I don't know which one is harder- the peace part or the be still part. Now, as for the peace part. Peace is a real problem. My darlin has been known to comment that I almost always have the TV on. This is an absolute bald-faced exaggeration. I do usually have the TV on, but I'm not watching it. This may sound crazy, but I have to have something to ignore. My children both read, do their homework, and work on the computer with the TV running incessantly. The television is like the wallpaper noise of our house. So yeah, peace is like a river or a fountain or like something that I have a real problem finding.

Be still is worse. Over the past two months, while I have been convalescing (that doesn't look like it is spelled right?!) being still has been mandatory, but that just means that my mind would fly around like BBs in a Japanese Pachenko machine. 'Cause I still think that God doesn't exactly care that your body is still. The rest of the story is be still and know that I am God.

All my life I have known that there is a God. For those who search and wonder, I pray, but for me- I know that I am not alone on this journey. For this moment, while wounds heal and angels prepare to hide some of their magnificence and costumes for the Christmas pageant are found and fluffed, I am challenged. Peace, be still. Both together. Perhaps, I will learn to let the whisperings of a still small voice be the music of my day.

Surely this time away from people, away from work isn't merely an interruption, but a kind of death. To merely start the same craziness- two jobs, constantly running to meetings, visits, meals in a drive-thru, and love as a promise not an action, would be to miss the monumental pain of this time. This time has hurt- pain and loneliness and fear. Listen, listen, listen...God is calling me to something new.