MLK Day!

Sure it's a Monday holiday, and sure it means something. There's even a parade, but it's not on TV. If I were to make my kids go to the parade, then MAKE is the right word. We would stick out in a Nordic kind of way. So why do we care? and what does this day mean to us?

As an adult, I know what Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King meant when he said that he had a dream for his children that they would be judged not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. I imagine that somewhere in a father's heart he even meant that they would be loved- not judged- by the content of their hearts and minds. Don't you? When I see my children work through problems, I want that for them. I want time for them to grow and solve the difficulties of their lives, and not be judged by a single moment or mistake. I hear their voices learning to speak their minds and find their voices- whispers of reconciliation and shouts of rebellion. They rejoice in the future. Isn't that what Dr. King might have wanted for his children, an opportunity to rejoice in what might be around the corner?

After the moniker doctor is reverend, MLK was a minister famous for saying I may not get there with you, more famous for being right about that. Believing that God had called him to lead people into the land of bounty. Isn't that also what we want? Isn't that why we remember a man who changed history? All of us remember. So what are we doing? I rented some movies, so that our children could at least- maybe- grasp some of what the world was like before MLK. We'll be we watching "To Kill A Mockingbird", "Mississippi Burning", and "Lilies of the Field". So maybe that is an attempt to recreate something for children that is impossible, but the history books don't capture it either. "Milk" may not get it right either, but the history books don't even try to remember Stonewall. What do I want for my children? The opportunity to rejoice in their talents and not be remembered for their mothers' memories, or mistakes. Perhaps I am not courageous, but I hope to watch my children make their mistakes and pick them up. Success might require more, but I wwant to be in their futures, and teavh them about the children who lost their parents and the Monday holidays we have for it.

Nine Days In...

Nine days in and I have strep throat, okay so maybe they aren't kidding. Maybe those doctors with their unflattering lab coats are right, so I have a compromised immune system. Fine, so then what do I do? I already have a pharmacy with a drive-thru, a doctor with 24 hour on call pharmacy, a monthly appointment for a transfusion. What else do I do?

I think I am cutting back to one job, if I really let myself think about the truth- the church isn't really making it. I am a failure. How do I wear that? How do I balance that with God's call to bring good news to the people. Can you be a failure in the fulfillment of God's call? Can you break a church? I think my joy and job is to help them find what they need from God's guidance and the church.

How then do I know if I have failed? How can I have a servant's heart and find a different way to serve? What happens when our income changes?

When you are my age and in my profession, you are called on for answers. Where is God in the midst of this mess? How can God be good, if... ? Is there a God? How can you be sure? No matter what I have always been sure. Sometimes I am called on for answers to impossible questions. I have had the difficulty of being too busy, and more recently of being too sick and then too quiet, but what if I am too worried about making the bills? How then to let go? How then to do the best thing with grace and even joy? So many question and only I am asking...

Back to Work With a Vengeance...

Oh Yeah, the weather was awful. Rain and ice with howling winds, but truth be told I would have gone to work if it had been raining frogs. I'm pleased to say that we narrowly avoided a plague this past Monday. I arrived at 7:20, a full hour early, just to be anywhere but home.

That's the thing. Everybody wants to spend a couple of months at home. It sounds great. TV, books, peace and quiet, but then there's a catch- maybe there's always a catch like someone in front in line at the WalMart of you using coupons- you can't leave the house. Then multiply peace and quiet by like a zillion, then like The Real Housewives Marathons by infinity and suddenly work sounds great. Shoot, even a trip to WalMart sounds great, and P.S. I don't shop at the Devil's Playground, but I could hear it calling to me while I was at home, like the sirens calling to sailors to their watery, rocky doom.

But like I said, school started, and I am back, and I noticed right away what we all know. You can't want to win The Quiet Game too much and get picked- right. If you really want or are so insecure that you need to know that the the "Chooser"is your friend, then you most certainly will not be chosen. Something about wanting it too much makes it all the more fleeting. Love is like that and prayer, but I don't think the kids killing time waiting to go to the bathroom had either of those things in mind. Some of them were shocked to be chosen; some of them were craven with wanting to be chosen, and some of them were just waiting. You really can tell what a child's needs are by merely going back to work. Maybe you can just come out of a medically imposed "Quiet Game" and recognize all of its challenges.